When you have a child
You learn it's a serious business
To have a little fun
You give grace and get forgiveness
Not seven times seven
But seven times seventy one
And when you have a child
Those four walls you call a house
Take on a life of its own
When you bring 'em home
You will cry and you will laugh
When they hurt it cuts you in half
It's your flesh and bone
And year after year
Pictures fill page after page
They never really grow up
Still your baby at any age
The first time you hold 'em
It's like you see God's smile
What a smile
When you have a child
And then boy meets girl
And perfume and gasoline
Reign on your perfect world
Curfews are often broken
Thank yous aren't spoken
He's got the keys to that old Dodge
And she's wearing a corsage
And her mama's pearls
And year after year
Pictures fill page after page
They never really grow up
Still your baby at any age
And the first time you hold 'em
It's like you feel God's smile
What a smile
When you have a child
You pray that phone call never comes
And if God forbid
How would you live
How could you go on
And on and on and on
And year after year
Close the chapter and turn the page
Blue ribbons and losing seasons
Flipping tassles on the stage
Oh but you don't need a photograph
You've got at least a million
Pictures of that smile
When you close your eyes
When you love a child
Ohh when you love a child
Reba McEntire - When you have a child
For some reason over the past few days the lyrics to this song have really hit home to me.
It seems like the past few weeks Noah has grown to a young man overnight and I'm not ready for it.
Showing posts with label Noah. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Noah. Show all posts
Monday, July 27, 2015
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Noah's 3
Well here we are 2 1/2 weeks late with this post, by hey if I am anything I am consistent right! Being on time has become nonexistent for me in the past 3 years. It is hard for me to still say yes I have a 3 year old. The time has gone way to fast for my liking and he is growing way to quick. It feels like yesterday that I was holding him in my arms for the first time and looking into his amazing brown eyes.
3 days old
3 years old
I am amazed by the little man he has become. He is full of personality and joy! He drives me crazy and makes me want to pull my hair out all at the same time. He is smart and inquisitive. He is 100% all boy with his trucks and blocks and noises and just everything boy. But even at being all be he is quick with a hug and a kiss and to tell you he loves you. At Noah's last visit he was 34" tall and still only 31 lbs. We only eat peanut butter and "jello" as he calls it and now has added scrambled eggs to that list. He will pick an apple, orange or banana over a cookie or piece of cake every time. He is a lover of dinosaurs. monster trucks and Curious George. He is also a lover of animals and even now at only 3 I would bet money he will enter a field to do with animals.
Below are a few pictures from Noah 3rd Birthday Party. Each year I say I am not going all out and going crazy because then it's more pressure for the next year but hey he is my baby and deserves it!
Welcome to Noah's Party
Snacks for everyone
Noah's amazing cake
Pin the banana on George
Favors for the kiddos
I hope that this year is a great amazing year for Noah and can't wait to see what it brings. We love you so much buddy!
Sunday, January 4, 2015
2015
Yikes I can not believe it has been almost 2 months since I last posted. I always swear I'm not going to let this much time past and each time it does. This entire year has just passed in the blink of an eye. Our holiday season was busy just like everyone else's but we did have time for some fun. We took Noah to see a local light display, he went on a train ride with Santa with my parents, niece and nephew. I got to spend a few days away on a girls trip with my mom right before Thanksgiving to do some shopping at the outlets. It was nice to be able to do that especially since at this time last year we didn't know how bad her cancer was and what was going to happen. Joe and I got to go to a Penguins Hockey game and I got to see a friend I haven't seen since my wedding almost 7 years ago. Which I vow to never let that much time pass again!
I have tried to become more active in the adoption community and trying to help give support to other waiting families and even families who had been placed with. I am hoping 2015 sees great things with this. I have also had a great opportunity presented to me that I am so excited to be working on and can't wait to see where it leads and what other opportunities that will come along.
We have Noah's 3rd..yes 3rd birthday coming up at the end of the month. It just boggles my mind that our baby is going to be 3. He grew so much over the past few months and has turned into such a little boy. He talks up a storm and is all boy. Loves his trucks, blocks, dinosaurs, and trains. He is also all boy in the aspect he loves to rough house and now has taken to hockey a little bit with using sticks to hit the balls and stuff around the house. Santa brought him a power wheels quad for Christmas and I am pretty such will be a crazy child on it by summer.
I hope 2014 was a great year for you and 2015 see even better things. I look forward to staying more active on the blog. I will leave you with a new picture of our little man!
Love
Melinda
I have tried to become more active in the adoption community and trying to help give support to other waiting families and even families who had been placed with. I am hoping 2015 sees great things with this. I have also had a great opportunity presented to me that I am so excited to be working on and can't wait to see where it leads and what other opportunities that will come along.
We have Noah's 3rd..yes 3rd birthday coming up at the end of the month. It just boggles my mind that our baby is going to be 3. He grew so much over the past few months and has turned into such a little boy. He talks up a storm and is all boy. Loves his trucks, blocks, dinosaurs, and trains. He is also all boy in the aspect he loves to rough house and now has taken to hockey a little bit with using sticks to hit the balls and stuff around the house. Santa brought him a power wheels quad for Christmas and I am pretty such will be a crazy child on it by summer.
I hope 2014 was a great year for you and 2015 see even better things. I look forward to staying more active on the blog. I will leave you with a new picture of our little man!
Love
Melinda
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
National Adoption Month / Anniversary
It's funny how the emotions of certain days never leave you. It was 3 years ago today that we were officially matched with Noah's birth mother. We had been in contact with her for a few weeks but were waiting on the agency to meet with her and get a good feeling of things. Any match situation is a leap of faith to say the least but to go in and match with a birth mother across the country that you will never meet until the the baby is born 3 months later can be very scary. The emotions still hit me this time every year like it was just last week. I was so sure the agency was going to tell us it was a bad idea, that it wouldn't work. As much as I told myself to guard my heart and not get attached and get our hopes up it was hard not to. It was an instant connection, an instant feeling this is gonna work, this has to work. God would not let me get my heart get hurt, and he didn't!
I would lie if I said that I think about him being adopted every single day because I don't. We spend most days living life like a normal family. We view Noah's birth family as family members we talk to a few times a week. I don't say this to make them feel any less or down play their roll, but that is what we are 1 big family. Then when I least expect it the emotions hit me like a ton a bricks, like when we are spending quiet time before bed, or he give me a hug and kiss and calls me mommy! I know that my best days are mostly likely her worse days. She shares the joy of holidays and birthday but I also know they come with pain for her, I would be naive to think they didn't. But I also know she is at peace with her decision and we have worked to have the relationship we have.
Below are some pictures of Noah celebrating National Adoption Month at his amazing daycare!
Love
Melinda
Monday, July 7, 2014
MIA
I just realized looking at my blog how long it has been since I last posted. I have been dealing with alot of personal stuff and didn't really have time to blog nor had much I wanted to talk about or felt like talking about.
I had surgery on June 11th that was going to be a simple robotic surgery. I was to spend 1 night in the hospital and have maybe 2 weeks off work. Well things didn't go at all as planned. They were not able to do the robotic surgery and had to cut me open, I had over 30 staples in my stomach. I spent 4 nights in the hospital and have been staying with my parents since I got home because I am not able to lift Noah or even go up and down the steps at my own house. They live in a 1 story house and having 2 sets of extra hands really has helped. I don't know what we would do without my parents and to be honest I don't think I am going to want to go home!
Being off work that long without my income was a concern at first and has been in the back of my mind but I have loved the time off with Noah, it is time I never got when he was born and have really enjoyed being with him. Watching him play in the yard, swim in the pool and just watching him with my dad.
My parents have been so great in making sure that I take the time I need to heal properly and not rush it so I am back in this boat again 5 or 10 years down the road. So I am so thankful for them. So that is a little bit of what is going on with me. The financial worry is still there but I have decided to just let it in God's hands and not worry myself sick over it.
Now for a LONG over due Noah update. He is grown like a bad weed. We had him at the doctor a week ago for a little cold he had. He is 34 inches tall and weighs 28 lbs. He eats like a horse but is in constant motion so runs it off as fast as he puts it in. He is so funny in things he does and has to say. He new one is when he sees a plane or helicopter he comes running yelling "run..hide". I have no idea what that is even about but it is so random and funny. He will cover you mouth and "shhh" you if you are talking while he is watching tv. He went camping several days with my parents last week and loved every second of it. Almost a week later he still looks for the "chippies" he fed while they were there. He has become a complete fish in the swimming pool and I feel confident in saying he will be swimming on his own by the end of the summer. I love seeming him grow and becoming his own person. It also makes me so sad at home much he has grown and how fast the time has gone by.
My hope is once I get back home and get back on a schedule I will start blogging more often. I was in so much pain before surgery it took all I had to get through the day sometimes. Please keep me in your thoughts over the next couple of weeks. I feel sure that going back to work is going to be very hard on me since I never got the mommy time with Noah in the beginning it is going to be like leaving my baby for the first time.
Love
Melinda
I had surgery on June 11th that was going to be a simple robotic surgery. I was to spend 1 night in the hospital and have maybe 2 weeks off work. Well things didn't go at all as planned. They were not able to do the robotic surgery and had to cut me open, I had over 30 staples in my stomach. I spent 4 nights in the hospital and have been staying with my parents since I got home because I am not able to lift Noah or even go up and down the steps at my own house. They live in a 1 story house and having 2 sets of extra hands really has helped. I don't know what we would do without my parents and to be honest I don't think I am going to want to go home!
Being off work that long without my income was a concern at first and has been in the back of my mind but I have loved the time off with Noah, it is time I never got when he was born and have really enjoyed being with him. Watching him play in the yard, swim in the pool and just watching him with my dad.
My parents have been so great in making sure that I take the time I need to heal properly and not rush it so I am back in this boat again 5 or 10 years down the road. So I am so thankful for them. So that is a little bit of what is going on with me. The financial worry is still there but I have decided to just let it in God's hands and not worry myself sick over it.
Now for a LONG over due Noah update. He is grown like a bad weed. We had him at the doctor a week ago for a little cold he had. He is 34 inches tall and weighs 28 lbs. He eats like a horse but is in constant motion so runs it off as fast as he puts it in. He is so funny in things he does and has to say. He new one is when he sees a plane or helicopter he comes running yelling "run..hide". I have no idea what that is even about but it is so random and funny. He will cover you mouth and "shhh" you if you are talking while he is watching tv. He went camping several days with my parents last week and loved every second of it. Almost a week later he still looks for the "chippies" he fed while they were there. He has become a complete fish in the swimming pool and I feel confident in saying he will be swimming on his own by the end of the summer. I love seeming him grow and becoming his own person. It also makes me so sad at home much he has grown and how fast the time has gone by.
My hope is once I get back home and get back on a schedule I will start blogging more often. I was in so much pain before surgery it took all I had to get through the day sometimes. Please keep me in your thoughts over the next couple of weeks. I feel sure that going back to work is going to be very hard on me since I never got the mommy time with Noah in the beginning it is going to be like leaving my baby for the first time.
Love
Melinda
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
The little things
There are so many times in life we all take the little things for granted. For example I call my mother every day sometimes several times a day and never thought how lucky I was to just be able to do that. Then in January when she had surgery I couldn't be there and she wasn't able to talk on the phone those few days of not being able to hear her voice hit me really hard! What would I do without her, then it hit me my husband hasn't hear either of his parents voices in years. Neither ever had the opportunity to meet his son! How lucky mine are to see him grow everyday.
I take for granted I have food in my stomach and clothes on my back. Yes most times Joe and I live pay check to pay check. And times that isn't enough but for the most part not one of the 3 of us go without something. We both have cars that run (for now anyway) a roof over our head and the love of family around us.
In talking to Noah's birth mother a few weeks ago about what we were getting our mother's for Mother's Day and what I thought Noah and Joe would get me this year it hit me with something she said. I mean I LOVE the fact that she is comfortable enough to say what is Noah gonna get his mommy for Mother's Day! I mean I want to cry now thinking about it, this is the woman who carried this child for 9 months and loved him and cared for him. To say what is he gonna get his mommy and that happens to be me not her, wow! I always tell people when they say I don't understand why you care, or why you talk to her, look at it this way. She is a mommy in a way I never could be, and I am a mommy in a way she couldn't be at the time and together we are a perfect match for Noah. Think about the love she had, to have for this child, to be able to say I can't care for him and place him in the arms of a woman she had know for 3 months and only met in person 48 hours before that.
In the conservation with her that evening we talked about the things Noah is doing as he is growing. How he is learning something new everyday and learning colors, numbers, animals, and animal sounds. Is he right handed or left (she is left that is why she asked). Little things that most people would never even think to notice. When I said he seems to be that he is going to be right handed because now that he is holding crayons and stuff it is with his right hand she said those are the things I miss, the scribbled on coloring pages that they think are master pieces! We talked a little longer said our good-byes and made plans to talk soon!
A few nights later as I was standing in my kitchen cleaning up for the night I turned to get Noah's milk from the frig and I looked at all his Master Pieces he brings home daily from daycare. I thought, God am I lucky to have my frig covered in these, all because of her! But for weeks I have taken them for granted and thrown the old ones out as new ones come, let's be honest you can only keep so many of them. So over the past couple weeks as the old ones come down they have been put in a special place in our home and kept to send to a special woman on a special day coming up.
I am secure enough in my position in Noah's life as his mother to say he is her flesh and blood I can't change that, nor would I want to! The day before Mother's Day is Birth Mother's Day, yes is it a real day, and she will be receiving the little things in the mail from "our" amazing little boy!
So stop and enjoy the little things once in a while, out there someone is dying to just be able to experience them!
Love
Melinda
I take for granted I have food in my stomach and clothes on my back. Yes most times Joe and I live pay check to pay check. And times that isn't enough but for the most part not one of the 3 of us go without something. We both have cars that run (for now anyway) a roof over our head and the love of family around us.
In talking to Noah's birth mother a few weeks ago about what we were getting our mother's for Mother's Day and what I thought Noah and Joe would get me this year it hit me with something she said. I mean I LOVE the fact that she is comfortable enough to say what is Noah gonna get his mommy for Mother's Day! I mean I want to cry now thinking about it, this is the woman who carried this child for 9 months and loved him and cared for him. To say what is he gonna get his mommy and that happens to be me not her, wow! I always tell people when they say I don't understand why you care, or why you talk to her, look at it this way. She is a mommy in a way I never could be, and I am a mommy in a way she couldn't be at the time and together we are a perfect match for Noah. Think about the love she had, to have for this child, to be able to say I can't care for him and place him in the arms of a woman she had know for 3 months and only met in person 48 hours before that.
In the conservation with her that evening we talked about the things Noah is doing as he is growing. How he is learning something new everyday and learning colors, numbers, animals, and animal sounds. Is he right handed or left (she is left that is why she asked). Little things that most people would never even think to notice. When I said he seems to be that he is going to be right handed because now that he is holding crayons and stuff it is with his right hand she said those are the things I miss, the scribbled on coloring pages that they think are master pieces! We talked a little longer said our good-byes and made plans to talk soon!
A few nights later as I was standing in my kitchen cleaning up for the night I turned to get Noah's milk from the frig and I looked at all his Master Pieces he brings home daily from daycare. I thought, God am I lucky to have my frig covered in these, all because of her! But for weeks I have taken them for granted and thrown the old ones out as new ones come, let's be honest you can only keep so many of them. So over the past couple weeks as the old ones come down they have been put in a special place in our home and kept to send to a special woman on a special day coming up.
I am secure enough in my position in Noah's life as his mother to say he is her flesh and blood I can't change that, nor would I want to! The day before Mother's Day is Birth Mother's Day, yes is it a real day, and she will be receiving the little things in the mail from "our" amazing little boy!
So stop and enjoy the little things once in a while, out there someone is dying to just be able to experience them!
Love
Melinda
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Dreams
I have been pretty quiet on here lately. I have sat down a thousand times in the past month to write a post and just sit and look at the blank white screen screaming at me WRITE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING! But I couldn't and didn't. What do I write, what a mess my life feels to me right now? How I feel everything is crashing down around me? That I have made some pretty crappy decisions the past few weeks? That I feel like the worse person in the world at times? Yet at times I feel like I have finally stood up for myself and said I can't do this anymore! I feel like I am being pulled in a million different directions and don't know which is the right way or wrong way to go. I don't know who to trust and believe in. Why is it that life as an adult is harder than life as a teenage. Isn't it supposed to get easier because we are older and wiser? I have been making steps to get things figured out and get back on track and that is all I can do at this point. Life really throws you some curve balls sometimes and I guess it is all a matter of if you step up to the plate and swing or sit back and watch. I am swinging and missing sometimes but I guess at least I am trying. I let to much get in my head and hold me back. What people will say or think or do. I would love to say no more but I know that is never going to happen that isn't me. I am who I am and can't change that. I just need to remember that I am also a strong, determined woman, who goes after anything she wants and most times gets it. Yes it will take hard work and some people trying to push me down and make me doubt myself but I need to just look past that.
I do have some good things in the works for the blog and the adoption community in general. I wish I had some more details about it but it is all still in the works and we are trying to work out some of the details for stuff still. I have had the thoughts and ideas for this in my head for months and my best friend and I have talked about it and we have now taken action on it. It was at a point of listen we can either say we wish or we should or we can just jump in and see what happens! I am not sure how it will work out or what will come of it but I can at least sit back and say at least I tried and followed yet another dream. Or I can say wow look at what an amazing thing this has become. When I think is this crazy to do I look at Noah and think look what came of the last big dream you had! I need to remember I am stronger than I give myself credit for. It is going to take hard work and figuring out how to juggle everything but great things don't come easy; they come to those who work for them. So please stick around to see how things come together.
I do have some good things in the works for the blog and the adoption community in general. I wish I had some more details about it but it is all still in the works and we are trying to work out some of the details for stuff still. I have had the thoughts and ideas for this in my head for months and my best friend and I have talked about it and we have now taken action on it. It was at a point of listen we can either say we wish or we should or we can just jump in and see what happens! I am not sure how it will work out or what will come of it but I can at least sit back and say at least I tried and followed yet another dream. Or I can say wow look at what an amazing thing this has become. When I think is this crazy to do I look at Noah and think look what came of the last big dream you had! I need to remember I am stronger than I give myself credit for. It is going to take hard work and figuring out how to juggle everything but great things don't come easy; they come to those who work for them. So please stick around to see how things come together.
Monday, February 17, 2014
Cabin Fever
This has been such a long cold winter with more snow that I care to talk about here in Western PA. We have had more days in negative temperatures than I can even remember and it pretty much snows 3 plus inches a day. The snow piles are so high at the ends of driveways most people can't even see to get out. We have to shovel paths in the yard for the dog to go out and you can't see our neighbors first 3 steps going to their front porch. People are having to shovel roofs and have ice several feet long hanging from houses. The snow on our back deck is almost as high as our patio table. Add a two year old to the mix as well and you have a ticking time bomb in the making. You know you have a problem when you fight with your husband over a $2.00 bottle of soda! I am more and more convinced that we need to encourage Noah to go to college some place warm and then stay there so Joe and I can retire there with him and his family!
I am not a great winter weather person to begin with, so this winter has been really hard. I used to be embarrassed to say it but I get the winter blues so bad, I mean really bad, but this year is worse than anything I remember. I am a warm weather person, I love the sun and sand, the warmth of it on my skin. I love to be in the water or near the water, I swear my parents switched me at birth with the wrong family! I don't belong in the mountains of Pennsylvania. My feet don't belong in thick wool socks with heavy winter boots on them, no matter how cute they are! Seeing my parents swimming pool buried in feet of snow just depresses me even more, because I don't think it will ever melt enough for us to swim this summer.
As I said earlier, on top of being stuck in the house add a 2 year old to it, plus the issue with my mom. The last time we had this much snow we were in the early process of adoption looking for an agency, doing research things like that. So being stuck in the house was no big deal! I could do research, get the nursery together, heck watch a movie or even take a nap no big deal. This time around is so different. I love my son so much so please don't think I am complaining. I have loved the one on one time with him and watch him develop so much over the winter. But he has become VERY attached so even going to the bathroom has become difficult. Most days a boom has gone off in my living room and I am embarrassed to say the below pictures were taken on a calm, clean afternoon.
This snow on the side with the banister is thrown so high it is higher than the SUV I drive.
This is our neighbors steps.
The angle of this picture doesn't really show how high the snow is.
I am not a great winter weather person to begin with, so this winter has been really hard. I used to be embarrassed to say it but I get the winter blues so bad, I mean really bad, but this year is worse than anything I remember. I am a warm weather person, I love the sun and sand, the warmth of it on my skin. I love to be in the water or near the water, I swear my parents switched me at birth with the wrong family! I don't belong in the mountains of Pennsylvania. My feet don't belong in thick wool socks with heavy winter boots on them, no matter how cute they are! Seeing my parents swimming pool buried in feet of snow just depresses me even more, because I don't think it will ever melt enough for us to swim this summer.
As I said earlier, on top of being stuck in the house add a 2 year old to it, plus the issue with my mom. The last time we had this much snow we were in the early process of adoption looking for an agency, doing research things like that. So being stuck in the house was no big deal! I could do research, get the nursery together, heck watch a movie or even take a nap no big deal. This time around is so different. I love my son so much so please don't think I am complaining. I have loved the one on one time with him and watch him develop so much over the winter. But he has become VERY attached so even going to the bathroom has become difficult. Most days a boom has gone off in my living room and I am embarrassed to say the below pictures were taken on a calm, clean afternoon.
I know this to shall pass. My winter blues will go away and my summer joy will be here soon. I will look back and miss this time with Noah, because he won't want to be in the house with me soon. He won't care that I left the room to hide in the bathroom for a few minutes. Yes I did just say that please don't judge me! I will miss having to clean up trucks, trains and building blocks. I will miss watching him learn new things each day, like his animal sounds, and new words. Him interacting with the shows on television. Thinking about all the time I have had with Noah this winter and the time I will never get back might help me to get through the remainder of this winter.
I guess there is a silver lining to every dark cloud!
Melinda
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Life
I can't believe that it is Mid January already! It always seems that with the holidays I lose track of time and this year seems to be worse than most. I have to admit I haven't been handling life very well right now. I feel like things are spiraling out of control. I know that things are not about me right now but feeling so helpless in it doesn't help.
Our holidays were nice and quiet for the most part. Just time with the family and relaxing. Saying Santa treated Noah well would be an understatement. He received much more than most children do and I know I am not helping to do that but I buy what I budget for and that is what he gets. It is just all the extras he gets from Aunts and Uncles and grandparents! But I take that as a sign that he is loved by so many people, and that is a blessing in its self!
Our New Years Eve was very quiet and a far cry from what they used to be and that is ok. That means God has blessed us with a family to stay home with and not be at parties and bars all night like we used to. We had a fun filled night of hot dogs and the movie Monsters University; and I wouldn't change it for the world.
Thing went down hill that weekend with me getting sick with a terrible chest cold and a temperature of over 104 for several days. I was sure it was the flu and went to our local urgent care to be checked and thank God it wasn't; just a bad cold. By Monday evening Noah and Joe both had a touch of it, but not as bad. Here we are almost a week later and I starting to feel a little better just really run down.
Noah has some changes coming up for him he has his big 2nd birthday in about two weeks, where has the time gone! The beginning of February he will be starting at a new daycare. We needed to move some things around for the days we needed daycare and I am sad to say business owners just don't care sometimes. After waiting for 3 days for a call back from his current provider we finally made the decision to just find another place that cared. I am upset about the lack of caring; not having to move him. It is just with everything else going on right now this should have been the last thing I needed to worry about. Joe's feelings are the fact that we are having to deal with this on top of things is reason enough to leave. You don't not call back one of your children's parents to see what the problem is when they call you and leave two messages and then show up to talk to you and you can't be bothered to call back at all. I am angry about that but it is what it is and maybe it is a blessing that I can't see yet. The new place is a small center that is in the ladies home. She is licensed by the state so I know that she is inspected and things and I also know that she will have alot less kids. The student to teacher ratio is going to be much better and there are more kids Noah's age there. I also think she is going to be more approachable about things and more flexible. So I am praying for a smooth transition for Noah over the next couple weeks.
I don't want to and can't go into detail but I am also asking you pray for my family over the next several weeks for other things. If you pray for my family God will know what you are asking for and it would really mean alot to us.
Thank you for understanding me not wanting to talk about it and being a support. So if I don't post alot over the next few weeks please know it is because I have alot going on and will post when I get time.
Melinda
Our holidays were nice and quiet for the most part. Just time with the family and relaxing. Saying Santa treated Noah well would be an understatement. He received much more than most children do and I know I am not helping to do that but I buy what I budget for and that is what he gets. It is just all the extras he gets from Aunts and Uncles and grandparents! But I take that as a sign that he is loved by so many people, and that is a blessing in its self!
Our New Years Eve was very quiet and a far cry from what they used to be and that is ok. That means God has blessed us with a family to stay home with and not be at parties and bars all night like we used to. We had a fun filled night of hot dogs and the movie Monsters University; and I wouldn't change it for the world.
Thing went down hill that weekend with me getting sick with a terrible chest cold and a temperature of over 104 for several days. I was sure it was the flu and went to our local urgent care to be checked and thank God it wasn't; just a bad cold. By Monday evening Noah and Joe both had a touch of it, but not as bad. Here we are almost a week later and I starting to feel a little better just really run down.
Noah has some changes coming up for him he has his big 2nd birthday in about two weeks, where has the time gone! The beginning of February he will be starting at a new daycare. We needed to move some things around for the days we needed daycare and I am sad to say business owners just don't care sometimes. After waiting for 3 days for a call back from his current provider we finally made the decision to just find another place that cared. I am upset about the lack of caring; not having to move him. It is just with everything else going on right now this should have been the last thing I needed to worry about. Joe's feelings are the fact that we are having to deal with this on top of things is reason enough to leave. You don't not call back one of your children's parents to see what the problem is when they call you and leave two messages and then show up to talk to you and you can't be bothered to call back at all. I am angry about that but it is what it is and maybe it is a blessing that I can't see yet. The new place is a small center that is in the ladies home. She is licensed by the state so I know that she is inspected and things and I also know that she will have alot less kids. The student to teacher ratio is going to be much better and there are more kids Noah's age there. I also think she is going to be more approachable about things and more flexible. So I am praying for a smooth transition for Noah over the next couple weeks.
I don't want to and can't go into detail but I am also asking you pray for my family over the next several weeks for other things. If you pray for my family God will know what you are asking for and it would really mean alot to us.
Thank you for understanding me not wanting to talk about it and being a support. So if I don't post alot over the next few weeks please know it is because I have alot going on and will post when I get time.
Melinda
Friday, November 22, 2013
Fall update
It has been a very busy fall for us here; and the holiday season doesn't look like it will be any different. I wanted to share a few pictures from our fall adventures, we went to the zoo, a pumpkin patch & some trick or treating. Only in Western PA do you need rain boots for that!!
Friday, November 8, 2013
Aching
Wednesday nights have become mommy and Noah night, because Joe works late that night. I really love the 1 on 1 time with him. Yes as a almost 2 year old (did I really just type that) he can push you to the limit, but I do enjoy the time. We get to have dinner just the two of us, and play time, bath time and snuggle time before bed.
He has grown so much the past few months and is really becoming his own little person. Not a day goes by that I don't sit and laugh at something new he does or has to say. Yes at most times it is not legible words but you can tell by the tone and stance when he does it he is pissed about something and telling you off. And when he wants something he wants it and doesn't care how you feel about it. For instance he was doings something the other night and I told him "NO". He stopped doing it went and got his backpack out of his toy box and brought it to me to put on him, which he does that often. He then walks out of the room and turns to me and waves and said "bye" (his version of bye sounds like die, he does it like he is singing it to you). I guess if I wasn't going to let him stand on the couch he was going to run away. I mean he is 2 how does he know that. There are other times he brings you a book and will sit and tell you a story as he turns the pages like he is reading it to you. He is a lover of books just like his mommy. But he is just as much boy with his love of cars and trucks. He brings so much laughter and happiness into our life I can't imagine him not in it.
Even with all the great joys in my life there are still days my heart aches for the things that never will be. To some people that may sound so selfish as if I don't have enough or if Noah isn't enough. I love Noah with every ounce of my being and would die for him; I don't ever want that to be questioned. My entire life all I have ever wanted to be was a mother and yes I am one, but I wanted more than 1 child. I can't just say to my husband lets have a baby and have a baby the old fashion way. I have to say lets have a baby fill out tons of paper work, pay ton's of money and wait for years to get matched with a birth mother. I mean everyone knows adoption is expensive but know one talks about the fees and the loan payments some have and other things. We have been paying on the loan to pay the fees for Noah's adoption for 3 years, and have at least 2 more left. I for the life of me don't understand why it is so expensive but it is and if it is what you choose to do then you accept it. You don't have to like it but you accept it.
That doesn't mean that there aren't times I ache to know what it is like to have my child move in my tummy and all the good and bad that goes along with it. It doesn't mean that I don't ache to be able to bring another child into my family, no matter how they come there. Most days I am ok with things, I really am happy in my life, and am blessed beyond words. But the longing to make Noah a big brother is so strong lately. I worry about him down the road being an only child, not having anyone when something happens to Joe and I. These are the times it is a sad reminder that my body has failed me in so many ways and at this current time is again. I wouldn't change a thing about how my life is and the things I have experienced to get me to where I stand today. I think God know that Noah's birth mother, Noah, Joe and I would all need each other at just the right time in life. I think it was all part of the bigger plan, and I know that God has great things planed for my life and my entire families life, but for right now I have a bit of an aching heart for the things that won't be.
Love,
Melinda
He has grown so much the past few months and is really becoming his own little person. Not a day goes by that I don't sit and laugh at something new he does or has to say. Yes at most times it is not legible words but you can tell by the tone and stance when he does it he is pissed about something and telling you off. And when he wants something he wants it and doesn't care how you feel about it. For instance he was doings something the other night and I told him "NO". He stopped doing it went and got his backpack out of his toy box and brought it to me to put on him, which he does that often. He then walks out of the room and turns to me and waves and said "bye" (his version of bye sounds like die, he does it like he is singing it to you). I guess if I wasn't going to let him stand on the couch he was going to run away. I mean he is 2 how does he know that. There are other times he brings you a book and will sit and tell you a story as he turns the pages like he is reading it to you. He is a lover of books just like his mommy. But he is just as much boy with his love of cars and trucks. He brings so much laughter and happiness into our life I can't imagine him not in it.
Even with all the great joys in my life there are still days my heart aches for the things that never will be. To some people that may sound so selfish as if I don't have enough or if Noah isn't enough. I love Noah with every ounce of my being and would die for him; I don't ever want that to be questioned. My entire life all I have ever wanted to be was a mother and yes I am one, but I wanted more than 1 child. I can't just say to my husband lets have a baby and have a baby the old fashion way. I have to say lets have a baby fill out tons of paper work, pay ton's of money and wait for years to get matched with a birth mother. I mean everyone knows adoption is expensive but know one talks about the fees and the loan payments some have and other things. We have been paying on the loan to pay the fees for Noah's adoption for 3 years, and have at least 2 more left. I for the life of me don't understand why it is so expensive but it is and if it is what you choose to do then you accept it. You don't have to like it but you accept it.
That doesn't mean that there aren't times I ache to know what it is like to have my child move in my tummy and all the good and bad that goes along with it. It doesn't mean that I don't ache to be able to bring another child into my family, no matter how they come there. Most days I am ok with things, I really am happy in my life, and am blessed beyond words. But the longing to make Noah a big brother is so strong lately. I worry about him down the road being an only child, not having anyone when something happens to Joe and I. These are the times it is a sad reminder that my body has failed me in so many ways and at this current time is again. I wouldn't change a thing about how my life is and the things I have experienced to get me to where I stand today. I think God know that Noah's birth mother, Noah, Joe and I would all need each other at just the right time in life. I think it was all part of the bigger plan, and I know that God has great things planed for my life and my entire families life, but for right now I have a bit of an aching heart for the things that won't be.
Love,
Melinda
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Family
The other day I was sorting through our mail that came it was the usual bills, sales flyer's and junk mail. Then mixed in with it all was an orange envelope, I knew the writing before I even looked at the return address. It was from Noah's grandparents in Las Vegas. I know alot of people wonder and ask why do you call them his grandparents, well because they are. I believe in my heart that my parents are secure enough in the relationship they have with Noah to share him. I will be honest we hadn't seen Noah's birth family since he was born almost 2 years ago. But we all knew going into it with the distance that is the way it was going to be. We also all talked about the roles we would play in Noah's life before hand and what we were all comfortable being known as. Them not wanting to step on anyone's toes with titles and us not wanting to down play the role they had in Noah's life. She was very cautious and gracious when she asked, "what would you like us to call our self's?"
I think the thing that helped with all of us setting bounds and talking about things so early was they are adoptive parents as well. I don't know if I have talked about this in the past or not but Noah's birth mother was adopted as well. So her parents know the emotions and feeling of an adoptive parent trying to move in adoption. The sad part for them was her adoption was a fully closed adoption so they never really had to address these issues but knew how they felt. D was coming from a place of being a mother and also an adoptee and knew what questions and feeling she has, and wanted to be there for Noah when he had them. Open adoption was a complete foreign thing to all of us! But D, Joe and I all knew it was something we wanted, so we would figure it out. The work was worth it to all of us; not to say there hasn't been bumps along the way; and that there won't be down the road. I hope that as the years pass we can continue with the relationship we have with them. I know I could very well have changed my phone number the second I boarded a plane leaving Las Vegas and never looked back. I have nothing that legally makes me send anyone pictures. I do have something far more important than a piece of paper that makes me do it, I have my word that I gave to a frightened mother and her family in a hospital almost 2 years ago. I couldn't live with myself if I went back on my word, because some day I will have to answer to Noah and to God. And the judgement of those two mean more to me than cutting his family out of my life; even IF I wanted to.
I write this on the eve of the day that marks 2 years since D "walked" into our life's and changed them forever! Two years ago I went to bed on the night of my favorite Holiday depressed and crying. I had sat in my house in complete darkness trying to shut the world around me out. I was at the lowest point I had ever been in my life! The following day I got an email that changed everything! On this Halloween night two years later I am celebrating my favorite Holiday with my son who happens to be turning 21 months old today! He has been such a blessing and joy to our entire family, in PA and Las Vegas!
Love
Melinda
I think the thing that helped with all of us setting bounds and talking about things so early was they are adoptive parents as well. I don't know if I have talked about this in the past or not but Noah's birth mother was adopted as well. So her parents know the emotions and feeling of an adoptive parent trying to move in adoption. The sad part for them was her adoption was a fully closed adoption so they never really had to address these issues but knew how they felt. D was coming from a place of being a mother and also an adoptee and knew what questions and feeling she has, and wanted to be there for Noah when he had them. Open adoption was a complete foreign thing to all of us! But D, Joe and I all knew it was something we wanted, so we would figure it out. The work was worth it to all of us; not to say there hasn't been bumps along the way; and that there won't be down the road. I hope that as the years pass we can continue with the relationship we have with them. I know I could very well have changed my phone number the second I boarded a plane leaving Las Vegas and never looked back. I have nothing that legally makes me send anyone pictures. I do have something far more important than a piece of paper that makes me do it, I have my word that I gave to a frightened mother and her family in a hospital almost 2 years ago. I couldn't live with myself if I went back on my word, because some day I will have to answer to Noah and to God. And the judgement of those two mean more to me than cutting his family out of my life; even IF I wanted to.
I write this on the eve of the day that marks 2 years since D "walked" into our life's and changed them forever! Two years ago I went to bed on the night of my favorite Holiday depressed and crying. I had sat in my house in complete darkness trying to shut the world around me out. I was at the lowest point I had ever been in my life! The following day I got an email that changed everything! On this Halloween night two years later I am celebrating my favorite Holiday with my son who happens to be turning 21 months old today! He has been such a blessing and joy to our entire family, in PA and Las Vegas!
Love
Melinda
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Out and about
He wasn't to sure what he should do with this
The slide was a hit
Acting silly and giving me a face only a mother would love.
Santa knows just what to bring Noah!
What do I think I want?
Hi mommy, watcha ya doing
Mommy I promise I know what I'm doing.
Just wanted to share a few shots from the past couple weeks.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Where to go from here
I have spent a lot of time thinking over the past few weeks
as to if it is maybe time to just bow out from the blog. When I started this it was to keep family and
friends informed about how our adoption was going. It then turned into more of a, this is what
the adoption process is like. Even the
first year was look how much Noah has grown and this is where things are at
with the finalization of the adoption.
Here we are just a few days away from Noah’s adoption being
finalized for 1 year! He is 19 and ½
months old and what is there really to talk about.
Yes Noah is growing into an amazing little boy. He is climbing onto everything, and most
things he should be. He has learned if
he sticks his toes in the links on the baby gate on the steps he can get
himself up high enough to get over it.
The dog’s cage has become his personal step ladder to get things we try
to keep up from him. The middle of the
dinning room table has become his own personal winners block and he stands on
it all the time. I am pretty sure some
day I am going to find him pulling on the blades of the fan above the
table. As much as these things drive me
crazy I know it is part of him growing and they are exciting to me at
least. But do other people want to hear
about it?
We do have contact with Noah’s birth family but to be honest
it is pretty minimal, so it isn't like I have that to talk about. I don’t think it is any 1 person’s fault that
contact has slowed down, but it has happened.
Our life is busy with 2 working parents and a 19 month old. They are just as busy and have just as many
things going on. I wish we were in
contact more but life happens I guess.
We don’t avoid each other and when 1 or the other reaches out the other
always answers back. I am sure distance
has a lot to do with it and it makes it hard for visits and things. I hope in the future we do get to visit with
them.
So this is where I am at, where is there to go from
here? I have met so many amazing people
and know it is because of my blog. But
what is left to say? What do people
really want to hear.
Melinda
Friday, August 30, 2013
lost track of time
I am so behind on my blogging it isn't even funny! I was planning on trying to catch up while I was on vacation 2 weeks ago but that did not happen. There are times I feel like I have so much to say and others not so much. Maybe I am at the not so much part right now. I have been dealing with a lot of personal things I am trying to work through to become a better me for my family and son. I feel like I am back on track a little and want to get back into my blogging.
Not alot has been going on either to be honest. Just enjoying the last little bit of summer with my little guy. He seems to be growing SO fast and it feels like I blink and a new child is in front of my eyes. I know I sound like ALL mothers but it just goes so fast and I want to spend as much time with him as I can and enjoy it.
It is so hard to believe this is the last weekend of summer and fall and winter will be here soon. In fact I was shopping for Halloween costumes for Noah last night on line, and we have been talking about Christmas presents. Before I know it I will be planning is 2nd Birthday Party.
I think about life before Noah and I don't remember what it was like. It's like he has always been apart of our family in some way even before he was. It has taken over a year but we finally have some sort of schedule figured out in our house. Not that it will last long because things are forever changing.
I want to wish everyone a happy Labor day and enjoy the last of summer. I will get pictures this weekend and post them for you all to see.
Have a great Holiday!
Not alot has been going on either to be honest. Just enjoying the last little bit of summer with my little guy. He seems to be growing SO fast and it feels like I blink and a new child is in front of my eyes. I know I sound like ALL mothers but it just goes so fast and I want to spend as much time with him as I can and enjoy it.
It is so hard to believe this is the last weekend of summer and fall and winter will be here soon. In fact I was shopping for Halloween costumes for Noah last night on line, and we have been talking about Christmas presents. Before I know it I will be planning is 2nd Birthday Party.
I think about life before Noah and I don't remember what it was like. It's like he has always been apart of our family in some way even before he was. It has taken over a year but we finally have some sort of schedule figured out in our house. Not that it will last long because things are forever changing.
I want to wish everyone a happy Labor day and enjoy the last of summer. I will get pictures this weekend and post them for you all to see.
Have a great Holiday!
Saturday, August 3, 2013
18 months
Wow where has the last 18 months gone? Noah is now a year and a half old, or 544 days old. Ok I know what is an extreme but I had to do it.
I actually almost forget that Wednesday was the 18 month mark to be honest. Life has been so busy at our home right now that the days seem to run together. I must of wrote the day 100 times at work before it hit me it was the 31st, and even then I had to sit and count the months. Then recount them because I knew there was no possible way that I was right. This couldn't be happening, time can't be going this fast.
There are times I look at Noah and I still see my little baby and other's I have to take a second look because I think where has this little boy come from. He is growing so fast, he has out grown his shoes from the beach already and even some of the clothes he had from there. That was just 6 weeks ago!
Along with the growth has come a major attitude! He loves to get his own way and will just yell at you in what ever language he seems to be speaking that day. Temper tantrums seem to come a little easier with him. I have found if I don't make a big deal over it and ignore him they seem to stop pretty quick.
He is getting his molars in right now so he is chewing and biting everything he can and that you let him. Including people if he can, we are working on that one.
He loves Mickey Mouse, Jake the Pirate, Sophia the first and Doc McStuffins. I don't really fuss to much about them because they all teach learning, sharing and helping others. He LOVES music, any type really but loves to jam out to Joan Jett, he is such an 80's baby...lol!
He is feeding himself with a fork and spoon if you put the food on it for him. The spoon is a little messier but he is learning.
He is learning what sounds go with what items. He gets his trucks and pushes them going "beep,beep" As soon as songs he likes comes on the radio or TV he starts jumping around and dancing.
I was talking to my mom and I said I miss his baby stage so much and don't remember him being so little. But I know in a year I will be saying I miss this stage and don't remember it either!
It almost doesn't seem fair that God gives us such an amazing gift but let's time fly by so fast!
Melinda
He is getting his molars in right now so he is chewing and biting everything he can and that you let him. Including people if he can, we are working on that one.
He loves Mickey Mouse, Jake the Pirate, Sophia the first and Doc McStuffins. I don't really fuss to much about them because they all teach learning, sharing and helping others. He LOVES music, any type really but loves to jam out to Joan Jett, he is such an 80's baby...lol!
He is feeding himself with a fork and spoon if you put the food on it for him. The spoon is a little messier but he is learning.
He is learning what sounds go with what items. He gets his trucks and pushes them going "beep,beep" As soon as songs he likes comes on the radio or TV he starts jumping around and dancing.
I was talking to my mom and I said I miss his baby stage so much and don't remember him being so little. But I know in a year I will be saying I miss this stage and don't remember it either!
It almost doesn't seem fair that God gives us such an amazing gift but let's time fly by so fast!
Melinda
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Toes in the water
Well it's back to reality. It seems like you wait forever and ever for vacation to get here and it goes by in the blink of an eye. It was so great to get away and relax and not really worry about much for a few days, I needed it way more than I thought I did. I was at the end of my rope in every way possible. I was having a hard time making it through the day some days.
I couldn't tell you the last time we had a vacation. I know alot of people were like well you were just in Vegas for 2 weeks last January, trust me that was no vacation, and anyone who has traveled for an adoption knows what I mean. Yes we saw some great things and made some great memories but it was far from relaxing. Maybe some day down the road we will go back to Vegas and have a good vacation.
This year we went on a family vacation to the beach and it was amazing. After we drove most of the night to get there and got some sleep we were up bright and early with Noah. I have to add that Noah was a champ in the 7 hour car ride there and back, I was pretty impressed with him. The very fist thing I wanted to do was take him to the water to see the ocean for the first time. I am a life long beach lover and would be a total beach bum if I could support myself doing it. We got up and got ready to go to see the ocean, Noah, Joe, Pappy and I bright and early at 7:30 am. I would love to say Noah loved the water as much as his mommy does but that was not the case. He didn't even like the sand at first, it was to soft and uneven for him to walk on, but by the end of the week he had become a pro at it and loved it.
Several time during the week we got to see the wild horses around the campground, and one day they even came right out to the beach and walked around. That was a pretty cool thing to see. They just wondered around freely, in fact the night we got there we had to wait for several to move to be able to park the camper!
We did go to the boardwalk for about 2 hours one afternoon and had lunch and walked around a little bit. There was a gumball machine in front of the restaurant where we ate that Noah was obsessed with. We couldn't get him away from it. He loved checking out all the kites flying in front of the one store on the beach and stood and watched them for a long time. Some of them were pretty cool, I wish I would have taken a picture of them. One was a fish that I know had to have been 7 or 8 feet long. We did get to fly our own kites on the beach our last day there but they were not as elaborate as those ones were, but still just as fun.
We made so many amazing memories on our trip, our first family vacation. Being able to see things in a new way with a child be beyond amazing. For me it is like seeing old things in a new way and it is something I am so blessed to do. I can't wait to see what new and amazing things we will do and see down the road.
I am going to put my guard down and post some pictures of Noah, they are just to cute to keep to myself and not share.
Love
Melinda
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I couldn't tell you the last time we had a vacation. I know alot of people were like well you were just in Vegas for 2 weeks last January, trust me that was no vacation, and anyone who has traveled for an adoption knows what I mean. Yes we saw some great things and made some great memories but it was far from relaxing. Maybe some day down the road we will go back to Vegas and have a good vacation.
This year we went on a family vacation to the beach and it was amazing. After we drove most of the night to get there and got some sleep we were up bright and early with Noah. I have to add that Noah was a champ in the 7 hour car ride there and back, I was pretty impressed with him. The very fist thing I wanted to do was take him to the water to see the ocean for the first time. I am a life long beach lover and would be a total beach bum if I could support myself doing it. We got up and got ready to go to see the ocean, Noah, Joe, Pappy and I bright and early at 7:30 am. I would love to say Noah loved the water as much as his mommy does but that was not the case. He didn't even like the sand at first, it was to soft and uneven for him to walk on, but by the end of the week he had become a pro at it and loved it.
Several time during the week we got to see the wild horses around the campground, and one day they even came right out to the beach and walked around. That was a pretty cool thing to see. They just wondered around freely, in fact the night we got there we had to wait for several to move to be able to park the camper!
We did go to the boardwalk for about 2 hours one afternoon and had lunch and walked around a little bit. There was a gumball machine in front of the restaurant where we ate that Noah was obsessed with. We couldn't get him away from it. He loved checking out all the kites flying in front of the one store on the beach and stood and watched them for a long time. Some of them were pretty cool, I wish I would have taken a picture of them. One was a fish that I know had to have been 7 or 8 feet long. We did get to fly our own kites on the beach our last day there but they were not as elaborate as those ones were, but still just as fun.
We made so many amazing memories on our trip, our first family vacation. Being able to see things in a new way with a child be beyond amazing. For me it is like seeing old things in a new way and it is something I am so blessed to do. I can't wait to see what new and amazing things we will do and see down the road.
I am going to put my guard down and post some pictures of Noah, they are just to cute to keep to myself and not share.
Love
Melinda
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Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Noah update
I realized the other day I haven't wrote a post for a few weeks. I have had so much going on yet not a lot to write about. I know that makes SO much sense (insert roll of the eyes). But really there hasn't been.
Noah is growing like crazy. He was 16 months old on Friday; I have no idea where the time has gone. He had our first ER visit about 3 weeks ago, not an experience I am in a rush to have again. I was home alone when it happened and was not able to get the bleeding stopped to see where it was coming from let alone get him calmed down and me calmed down. Thank God my cousin was home and was able to come and help me out. He didn't need stitches and things have healed up very nice.
When he has his check up the beginning of May he was over 30 inches long and was 24 lbs. He is growing right on track. And it never fails something they think could be a concern he decides to the night we leave or the very next day. At his visit the nurse decides to tell the doctor him walking should be a concern. Noah has been "walking" for months to be honest. Holding on to push toys, chairs, walls he just wouldn't do it on his own. I didn't really push the issue and the doctor was less than happy she said it the way she did with us there. To say the least the following week he took off! He is walking everywhere he can. Crawling onto the furniture and standing at the windows, chasing the dogs, you name it.
We have been trying to get him on to a Sippy cup for awhile now but couldn’t find one he would take, because to be honest he was being lazy and wouldn’t tip the cup and his head back to drink from it. We had finally found on that had a straw in it he would drink from a few months ago. Well last week I tried one of the other ones we had at the house we got as a gift for is milk for his afternoon nap and it was a hit! We now only use a bottle at bed time and I feel 100% sure I could lose that one if I wanted to but I can’t bring myself to do it. It is like once the bottles are gone my baby is gone and I am so not ready for that.
Noah is growing like crazy. He was 16 months old on Friday; I have no idea where the time has gone. He had our first ER visit about 3 weeks ago, not an experience I am in a rush to have again. I was home alone when it happened and was not able to get the bleeding stopped to see where it was coming from let alone get him calmed down and me calmed down. Thank God my cousin was home and was able to come and help me out. He didn't need stitches and things have healed up very nice.
When he has his check up the beginning of May he was over 30 inches long and was 24 lbs. He is growing right on track. And it never fails something they think could be a concern he decides to the night we leave or the very next day. At his visit the nurse decides to tell the doctor him walking should be a concern. Noah has been "walking" for months to be honest. Holding on to push toys, chairs, walls he just wouldn't do it on his own. I didn't really push the issue and the doctor was less than happy she said it the way she did with us there. To say the least the following week he took off! He is walking everywhere he can. Crawling onto the furniture and standing at the windows, chasing the dogs, you name it.
We have been trying to get him on to a Sippy cup for awhile now but couldn’t find one he would take, because to be honest he was being lazy and wouldn’t tip the cup and his head back to drink from it. We had finally found on that had a straw in it he would drink from a few months ago. Well last week I tried one of the other ones we had at the house we got as a gift for is milk for his afternoon nap and it was a hit! We now only use a bottle at bed time and I feel 100% sure I could lose that one if I wanted to but I can’t bring myself to do it. It is like once the bottles are gone my baby is gone and I am so not ready for that.
He loves to be outside and is at the door the minute we get home at night to get outside, never mind the fact we all need to eat dinner first. Coming in at night to bath is a fight since it is light out until close to 9 at night now.
So that is my Noah update for now!
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Small reminders
It seems like the weekends are nothing but a marathon of running! Joe is working every Saturday so my day starts with a quick shower before he leaves so I have 10 minutes of quiet time before my day starts. Getting Noah dressed and diaper changed is enough of a workout for an Olympic athlete. Then picking up his dump trucks, train, tether and anything else that he thinks is funny to throw off the high chair like 700 times a day, you would think my waist would be as big around as a pencil. All this before our 9:30 nap. While he is napping, which if we are lucky is about a hour and half, I get my self dressed and ready to go grocery shopping, picking up the house and trying to do a load of laundry. Then on to the afternoon! We, Noah and I, go grocery shopping, come home and put it away, had his afternoon feeding and start our high chair ritual all over again! Most weekends and weeknights Joe works I feel like I need a nap with him at 5:30. Most days I feel like I don't have enough time in the day. I have stacks of photos that need organized and put in albums, I swear Noah will be 30 before his baby book is even started let alone complete for him. There is always laundry that needs done, and the house is always in need of cleaning.
Today was an unusual day for me because my parents kept Noah for me to run my errands because it was so cold and rainy out. I was able to go and do my shopping and even have lunch by myself which was something I never thought I would like to do. I got to put my food away without picked up the toys while doing it. I ran the vacuum without Noah freaking out from the noise of it.
After I got home and fed Noah and was putting him down for his evening nap and it hit me. Noah was asleep on my shoulder and I could see his face, his angel like face, and was sitting and rocking in his room. There was just enough light coming in the windows that I could see around the room, and that is when it hit me! Just a year ago this room that used to bring me such peace and does now, didn't at that time. I had hit rock bottom this time last year, I just couldn't do it anymore, I wanted Joe to pack the stuff up in the room and get rid of it, I couldn't look at it anymore. My emotions and heart had been pulled through the ringer. I was an emotional mess and didn't know which end was up. I cried each day, sometimes all day, just praying for an answer, some sort of sign as to what was right to do. It hurts my heart now to think I wanted to walk away! Especially as I looked at the miracle sleeping in my arms. Not a day goes by that he doesn't do something that melts my heart, no matter how hard of a day it is,he either smiles at me just when I need it or he will rub his hand on your cheeks after you give him a kiss.
It is hard to believe that he is 8 months old already! He has 2 teeth and is giving his all to crawl! He is vocal, very vocal when he wants to be, and God does he have a temper! But I wouldn't trade it for a second. God continues to send me small reminders and not so small reminders each and everyday!
Love
Melinda
[slideshow]
Today was an unusual day for me because my parents kept Noah for me to run my errands because it was so cold and rainy out. I was able to go and do my shopping and even have lunch by myself which was something I never thought I would like to do. I got to put my food away without picked up the toys while doing it. I ran the vacuum without Noah freaking out from the noise of it.
After I got home and fed Noah and was putting him down for his evening nap and it hit me. Noah was asleep on my shoulder and I could see his face, his angel like face, and was sitting and rocking in his room. There was just enough light coming in the windows that I could see around the room, and that is when it hit me! Just a year ago this room that used to bring me such peace and does now, didn't at that time. I had hit rock bottom this time last year, I just couldn't do it anymore, I wanted Joe to pack the stuff up in the room and get rid of it, I couldn't look at it anymore. My emotions and heart had been pulled through the ringer. I was an emotional mess and didn't know which end was up. I cried each day, sometimes all day, just praying for an answer, some sort of sign as to what was right to do. It hurts my heart now to think I wanted to walk away! Especially as I looked at the miracle sleeping in my arms. Not a day goes by that he doesn't do something that melts my heart, no matter how hard of a day it is,he either smiles at me just when I need it or he will rub his hand on your cheeks after you give him a kiss.
It is hard to believe that he is 8 months old already! He has 2 teeth and is giving his all to crawl! He is vocal, very vocal when he wants to be, and God does he have a temper! But I wouldn't trade it for a second. God continues to send me small reminders and not so small reminders each and everyday!
Love
Melinda
[slideshow]
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Adoption Day
**Sorry this is over a week late, but Noah and I have been fighting colds for over a week now**
I thought when the day would come it would be no big deal, I mean really the hard stuff was over, and things were not going to be any different. Then it hit me Wednesday night as I was getting our clothes ready for the following day. I am not sure really what it was, the realization that something I have dreamed of my entire life was going to become a reality. I have known since I was 12 years old that it was going to be pretty much impossible for me to have a child. Then at 22 that became even more real. Then my thought's went to Noah's birth mother, does she know that tomorrow is even happening? I know this is what she wanted I am not saying that, but is still my thoughts kept drifting to her.
We were up early and on the road the following day to Pittsburgh for our hearing to take place. I was crying the minute we left the driveway, thank God my dad was driving. All the tears and years of heartache are coming to an end in just a few short hours. I know that Noah has been with us for 7 months, and he has been our son that long so it shouldn't be any big deal. But it is! We get to the office and visit with the social worker for a few minutes, before the call comes. We were lucky enough not to have to go back to Vegas for the hearing we were able to do it over the phone. The call lasted less that 10 minutes but it changed our life forever. It was a very emotional 10 minutes and hearing the judge say that Noah was legally OUR child my heart burst with joy. Knowing that NO ONE can ever come and take him means so much to us.
So one asked me when they found out things were over, so this means your adoption journey is over right? I didn't know how to answer that, I guess in some ways yes it is and in other's not even close. So this step in adoption is over and we move on to the next. Figuring out our relationship with Noah's birth mother and thing's down the road with Noah when he is old enough to ask questions.
I would love to say we will do it again, but I don't know if that will happen. Adoption is expensive and a long preocess and lets be honest money and age is not on our side. But if it is in God plan then I will not question it because I look at my son and see his work.
So I will continue to blog about Noah and other things at this point! Here are some pictures from our day!
Love,
Joe, Melinda and Noah
[gallery orderby="rand"]
I thought when the day would come it would be no big deal, I mean really the hard stuff was over, and things were not going to be any different. Then it hit me Wednesday night as I was getting our clothes ready for the following day. I am not sure really what it was, the realization that something I have dreamed of my entire life was going to become a reality. I have known since I was 12 years old that it was going to be pretty much impossible for me to have a child. Then at 22 that became even more real. Then my thought's went to Noah's birth mother, does she know that tomorrow is even happening? I know this is what she wanted I am not saying that, but is still my thoughts kept drifting to her.
We were up early and on the road the following day to Pittsburgh for our hearing to take place. I was crying the minute we left the driveway, thank God my dad was driving. All the tears and years of heartache are coming to an end in just a few short hours. I know that Noah has been with us for 7 months, and he has been our son that long so it shouldn't be any big deal. But it is! We get to the office and visit with the social worker for a few minutes, before the call comes. We were lucky enough not to have to go back to Vegas for the hearing we were able to do it over the phone. The call lasted less that 10 minutes but it changed our life forever. It was a very emotional 10 minutes and hearing the judge say that Noah was legally OUR child my heart burst with joy. Knowing that NO ONE can ever come and take him means so much to us.
So one asked me when they found out things were over, so this means your adoption journey is over right? I didn't know how to answer that, I guess in some ways yes it is and in other's not even close. So this step in adoption is over and we move on to the next. Figuring out our relationship with Noah's birth mother and thing's down the road with Noah when he is old enough to ask questions.
I would love to say we will do it again, but I don't know if that will happen. Adoption is expensive and a long preocess and lets be honest money and age is not on our side. But if it is in God plan then I will not question it because I look at my son and see his work.
So I will continue to blog about Noah and other things at this point! Here are some pictures from our day!
Love,
Joe, Melinda and Noah
[gallery orderby="rand"]
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