Thursday, February 27, 2014

She's Amazing

I want to start by thanking everyone who has been praying for my mother and family over the past month or so.  Also thank you for understanding that I didn't want to go into details at the request of my mom.  This past Monday she finally got a bit of good news and she was finally ready to talk about things and tell people what was going on.  Below is the post she put on her facebook page:

In November, I was having a great deal of pain and started some tests. EGD showed nothing. We moved on to the stress test. I failed it and had a stent inserted on December 11 or 12. When they did the chest xray for the stent, the doctor found a tumor in my right lung. Hence, the prayers. After consulting with a doctor in Pittsburgh, he did surgery on January 23. The tumor was cancer. After all the tests came back, all cancer cells were totally contained to the tumor. All surrounding tissue was negative. Today, I had an appointment with the Oncologist and got the actual first good news in a long couple of months. No Chemo or Radiation needed.

Again, thank you all for the prayers and God does answer.

This is the compressed version of what took place, she failed to mention that she had to have part of her lung removed with the tumor.  That is not important the fact that she is ok is what is important.  As you can imagine this rocked my world (as well as the rest of my families) to the core.  What started out as a simple EGD for heart burn turned to a heart cath and stent being put in to lung cancer, all in the matter of 3 weeks. And I might add all of this between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  It was a long few weeks, but during it all my mothers strength and faith was beyond anything I can find words for.  Never 1 time during all of this did I see my mother cry, get angry or be upset.  She was the one who was strong for all of us.  I can't say how she was behind closed door or at night when no one could see her, or how she feels about it all now.

I will say what I learned about my mother over the past few months is something I will keep with me forever.  I have learned more about her faith in God in the past few months than ever before.  Not that we were not faithful people before but during a time when most people question and run away, she ran right to her faith and let it wrap her with love and protection.  She is one of the strongest people I know and can only hope to be that strong myself and to tech my son to be that way as well.  I also saw the way my parents relationship strengthened, not that they don't already have an amazing relationship but it was different.  My mother has always been the care taker for everyone, always putting everyone before herself, so this way hard.  Yes she has had things done in the past, two knee replacements and a hip replacement but this was different, this was unknown, this was scary.  This could have been life or death!  She still have the recovery ahead of her but she gets stronger everyday.  She has 1 more surgery in a couple of weeks so please pray for her for that as well.

My mother and I have not always had the best relationship, I was a very high maintenance, stubborn teen and made it hard on her but over the past 10 years she has become my best friend and in the past 2 months she has become one of my hero's!

Much Love


Monday, February 17, 2014

Cabin Fever

This has been such a long cold winter with more snow that I care to talk about here in Western PA.  We have had more days in negative temperatures than I can even remember and it pretty much snows 3 plus inches a day.  The snow piles are so high at the ends of driveways most people can't even see to get out.  We have to shovel paths in the yard for the dog to go out and you can't see our neighbors first 3 steps going to their front porch.  People are having to shovel roofs and have ice several feet long hanging from houses.  The snow on our back deck is almost as high as our patio table.  Add a two year old to the mix as well and you have a ticking time bomb in the making.  You know you have a problem when you fight with your husband over a $2.00 bottle of soda!  I am more and more convinced that we need to encourage Noah to go to college some place warm and then stay there so Joe and I can retire there with him and his family!

This snow on the side with the banister is thrown so high it is higher than the SUV I drive.
This is our neighbors steps. 
The angle of this picture doesn't really show how high the snow is.

I am not a great winter weather person to begin with, so this winter has been really hard.  I used to be embarrassed to say it but I get the winter blues so bad, I mean really bad, but this year is worse than anything I remember.  I am a warm weather person, I love the sun and sand, the warmth of it on my skin.  I love to be in the water or near the water, I swear my parents switched me at birth with the wrong family!  I don't belong in the mountains of Pennsylvania.  My feet don't belong in thick wool socks with heavy winter boots on them, no matter how cute they are!  Seeing my parents swimming pool buried in feet of snow just depresses me even more, because I don't think it will ever melt enough for us to swim this summer. 
As I said earlier, on top of being stuck in the house add a 2 year old to it, plus the issue with my mom.  The last time we had this much snow we were in the early process of adoption looking for an agency, doing research things like that.  So being stuck in the house was no big deal!  I could do research, get the nursery together, heck watch a movie or even take a nap no big deal.  This time around is so different.  I love my son so much so please don't think I am complaining.  I have loved the one on one time with him and watch him develop so much over the winter.  But he has become VERY attached so even going to the bathroom has become difficult.  Most days a boom has gone off in my living room and I am embarrassed to say the below pictures were taken on a calm, clean afternoon. 

I know this to shall pass.  My winter blues will go away and my summer joy will be here soon.  I will look back and miss this time with Noah, because he won't want to be in the house with me soon.  He won't care that I left the room to hide in the bathroom for a few minutes.  Yes I did just say that please don't judge me!  I will miss having to clean up trucks, trains and building blocks.  I will miss watching him learn new things each day, like his animal sounds, and new words.  Him interacting with the shows on television.  Thinking about all the time I have had with Noah this winter and the time I will never get back might help me to get through the remainder of this winter.
I guess there is a silver lining to every dark cloud!

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

2 years old

Wow Noah, I can't believe it!  You are 2 now, where has the time gone!  Your growing into your own person now and are so independent about everything!  Your talking like crazy now and picking up everything others say and do.  Right now the words of the moment are mine, icky (Mickey), choo choo and help! Help is used at all times and all places so it can get a little embarrassing! 
You started a new daycare last week because grandma isn't able to watch you now and you have adjusted so well.  It amazes me how easily you adapt to new things.  You have no fear of anything, sometimes that worries me but others it makes me happy.  Having that quality will get you far in life. I see a lot you myself in you with that and hope you never lose it like I did a little bit.
Not a day goes by that you don't make me laugh with something silly you have done, like try to walk around with your pants at your ankles, pull a funny face, wear my shoes or just act silly.  You melt my heart daily too with you random hugs, smiles and kisses for no reason what so ever.  Like at bedtime right before you fall asleep you will sit up and give me a kiss like it has to be the last thing you need to do before you fall asleep.
I love to watch your eyes as your experiencing new things or even old things and think they are the most amazing things in the world!  The joy in your face is just amazing to me and I can't stop thinking of how lucky that I am that I was chosen to be your mommy.
I think my most favorite thing is hearing you say mommy!  It is a name I will never get tired of being called.  I love when you just call mama mama when your looking for me in the house.  Or when I get home from work, your so excited to see me as if I am the most amazing person if your life.  You have really become a mommy's boy these past few months.
I can't wait to see what this upcoming year has to bring for you and how you will grow and explore life.