Blessed

When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, or in the life of another

Hellen Keller

 

In the past year we have had a lot of “miracles” in our lives as we move along the road in our adoption.  I am always so amazed and taken back by the kindness of the people in our lives, if it be family, close friends, old and new, and people we simply don’t know.  Yesterday was no different!  We had an amazing turn out at our fundraiser and so much support from the people who love us and people, who really didn’t know us and might have just been there for the baskets, but that is ok; we hope our story and cause moved them as much as we were by them being there.  It also makes you realize that no matter what good or bad family is the best.  My parents are the best, they have done so much for us and yesterday was no exception, my dad made the most adorable wooden doll cradle, that some lucky little girl will be getting to play with, an amazing picture stand that my friend now has in her new home and all of this while pushing through his own pain, and being 5 days before major neck surgery, he is my hero!  My mom was just as amazing, helping me get baskets and get the word out and telling me to not worry about it when I cried that I didn’t think it was going to work, she is truly my best friend.  Also my brother who helped us as much as he could.  He is also just a few days away from surgery.  Keeping those two “down” was a struggle but they did well listening and helping in other ways.  My Aunt and Uncle worked their butts off selling tickets at the party and my Uncle made and donated an amazing wooden blanket chest for us to chance off.  My cousins who also helped!  Kelly your support has been amazing since you know what my heart is feeling right now.  Wendy, I told you last night what I had to say, so I hope there are no other words needed, because I can say them right now, I have nothing but I love you.  To a new friend who also gave us an amazing prize to chance off.  You have left footprints in our hearts that will never go away and I know that you will forever be a part of our adoption story and life.  If I am forgetting anyone I am so sorry just know we love you all.

After we got home last night and things settled down, I went upstairs to the nursery to just sit and think and reflect on the day.  It hit me that this baby, that we don’t know, has SO much love around it already.  The amount of love makes my heart overflow; I wish I could bottle it and send it to any birth mom that is considering us, so she could be assured of just how much her child will be loved.  The only thing I can do is pray to God that he lets her feel in her heart when she is thinking about it.  That she welcomes us as extended family and to allow us to share with her child the amazing family and friends we have.  I feel it in my hearts it is going to happen and when it does it is going to be so amazing.  Life is good and only going to get better!



 

Love to you all

Melinda and Joe

Lessons

So to say the past few weeks have been hard would be an under statement.  We had made contact with a birth mom and were emailing for 6 weeks or so and were really confident that we were going to get matched with her, only for it to fall through.  I spent a lot of time questioning some things and wondering about stuff.  At this point it doesn’t matter what the truth is or isn’t, it is what it is.  I will just be more aware the next time.  I want to first say I wish “E” all the best with her baby and the family she picked.  She is due any day now so please say a prayer for them all. The same week that happened, so many other things happened, things I guess I wasn’t ready to happen all at one time, and didn’t handle them all so well.

There have been many dark days for me in the past few weeks.  It sort of comes in waves for me.  I do really well for a while and handle it ok.  I have learned that as long as I am busy with other things and don’t think about it too much it is better.  So that leads into me having to find things to keep me busy.  Maybe now is a good time to go through all those boxes and things that sort of get forgotten and I mean  forgotten as I haven’t needed anything from them since we moved 3 years ago, so I am sure they are just taking up space boxes.  Getting things ready for when “the” call comes because when it does I think I might be too busy to be worrying about getting things in the nursery ready.  Because of right now most things are in bags with tags still on them. 

I have also realized, after much talking to me by my mother and husband, I think with my heart.  I jump at my first reaction.  Sometimes a good thing sometimes it’s not.  Over the past few weeks I don’t think it has so much been a good thing.  I have realized I may have some psycho tendencies.  Laugh if you want, but we all have them and admitting it is half the battle right?  So I am half way there right?  This is not an easy process by any means, and I think each person’s journey is different.  If you talk to a family that was matched pretty much right away, yes they had their stresses and struggles, but they are different than a family that may have been waiting for 2 years to be matched.  Or a family that was matched and then the mom decided she wanted to parent her child.  Everyone’s journey is different everyone’s feeling are different.  That being said, that doesn’t make any of them wrong.  It also doesn’t mean your journey is over once you get matched there are so many other things involved. 

I have taken a step back to really look at things and also look at myself.  I am really trying to become the person I want to be and when things are right in my life things will be right in so many other areas.  I have learned a lot about myself and still have a lot to learn.

 Melinda