Thursday, October 31, 2013


The other day I was sorting through our mail that came it was the usual bills, sales flyer's and junk mail.  Then mixed in with it all was an orange envelope, I knew the writing before I even looked at the return address.  It was from Noah's grandparents in Las Vegas.  I know alot of people wonder and ask why do you call them his grandparents, well because they are.  I believe in my heart that my parents are secure enough in the relationship they have with Noah to share him.  I will be honest we hadn't seen Noah's birth family since he was born almost 2 years ago.  But we all knew going into it with the distance that is the way it was going to be.  We also all talked about the roles we would play in Noah's life before hand and what we were all comfortable being known as.  Them not wanting to step on anyone's toes with titles and us not wanting to down play the role they had in Noah's life.  She was very cautious and gracious when she asked, "what would you like us to call our self's?"
I think the thing that helped with all of us setting bounds and talking about things so early was they are adoptive parents as well.  I don't know if I have talked about this in the past or not but Noah's birth mother was adopted as well.  So her parents know the emotions and feeling of an adoptive parent trying to move in adoption.  The sad part for them was her adoption was a fully closed adoption so they never really had to address these issues but knew how they felt.  D was coming from a place of being a mother and also an adoptee and knew what questions and feeling she has, and wanted to be there for Noah when he had them.  Open adoption was a complete foreign thing to all of us!  But D, Joe and I all knew it was something we wanted, so we would figure it out.  The work was worth it to all of us; not to say there hasn't been bumps along the way; and that there won't be down the road.  I hope that as the years pass we can continue with the relationship we have with them.  I know I could very well have changed my phone number the second I boarded a plane leaving Las Vegas and never looked back.  I have nothing that legally makes me send anyone pictures.  I do have something far more important than a piece of paper that makes me do it, I have my word that I gave to a frightened mother and her family in a hospital almost 2 years ago.  I couldn't live with myself if I went back on my word, because some day I will have to answer to Noah and to God. And the judgement of those two mean more to me than cutting his family out of my life; even IF I wanted to.
I write this on the eve of the day that marks 2 years since D "walked" into our life's and changed them forever!  Two years ago I went to bed on the night of my favorite Holiday depressed and crying.  I had sat in my house in complete darkness trying to shut the world around me out.  I was at the lowest point I had ever been in my life!  The following day I got an email that changed everything!  On this Halloween night two years later I am celebrating my favorite Holiday with my son who happens to be turning 21 months old today!  He has been such a blessing and joy to our entire family, in PA and Las Vegas!


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