Sunday, October 13, 2013

Reason, Season, Lifetime

There is a saying; People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.  When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.  When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed.   They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.  They may seem like a godsend, and they are!  They are there for the reason you need them to be.  Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.  Sometimes they die.  Sometimes they walk away.  Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.  What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.  The prayer you sent up has been answered.  And now it is time to move on.  When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.  They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.  They may teach you something you have never done.  They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.  Believe it! It is real!  But, only for a season.  LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.  Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.  It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
I have really been having a hard time trying to find a direction for my blog.  Adoption will always be a part of my life, but it just isn't my life.  I don't want to just walk away or turn my back on this or even the topic of adoption, but I need to find other things too.  Through adoption I have met and become close with others.  What started out as adoption support has turned into some friendships.  It is amazing how you can be apart of someones life to help guide them, and then it turns from support to friendship.  To a friendship of telling her things I don't tell my family.  She supports me in everything in my life and we have never even met in person and I would consider her one of my best friends.  As I am sure it is that way with a lot of others who have built a great friendship from support of adoption.  It is also sad how sometimes that support can't move past just that, adoption support.  And that is ok that if it doesn't, I have always promised support and understanding with this blog.  I also promised honesty and truth.  I will never stop that and I will never turn my back to anyone that asks about our adoption and wants support during their own process.  I started this blog for that reason so I can't say it is wrong.
I love having the support of other adoptive families to turn to when I need it.  But I don't want adoption to define who I am and who Noah is.  I want to have other interests and things in my life; and I want the same for Noah.  I don't want Noah to only know adoptive kids and it be the only thing that we talk about and do in our home.
I know that Noah being adopted is something that will always be there, it is something we will never hide from him.  But it is not something we will shove down his throat either.  I know that he is very young right now and we plan to let him take the lead on it down the road.  One of the promises I made to his birth mother was he would live a normal adjusted life.  He will have every opportunity we can give to him given.  He will never be lied to about who he is or how he came to be apart of our family.  He will be given the choice to have a relationship with her when he is ready for it.  He will also live as normal as a life as he can.
Maybe I would have a different way of thinking if we had support groups and a larger amount of people we know who have adopted in our immediate town but there isn't.  We have made friends with other families who had adopted, but our friendships have developed beyond just adoption.  In fact it isn't something we talk about when we see each other.  It is about kids getting together and playing.  But it is something they will all be able to relate to each other when they get older and have questions. 

With all that said I hope that everyone will stay along for the ride of where ever this blog goes.  I can’t promise it will be something great and amazing.  But I will promise as always it will be honest, truthful and me.  That is all I have to offer and I hope that it is enough for everyone.







  1. Melinda,
    I love your posts because your messages are absolutely honest, normal, and heartfelt. I agree; adoption doesn't define my family, but it certainly makes our story more interesting! My blog is pretty wild (funny, sarcastic, emotional, all over the place), though my writer's voice is consistently ME. You have the right (writing) attitude and I have no doubt you are helpful to readers. I just write what I want to write because I want the content to be genuine and I want to enjoy the art of writing it. When we"put ourselves out there" ---especially on the internet, as writers, we risk all kinds of criticism. But, if your goals are pure and you are indeed honest, you certainly touch the lives of others. And I know you do! You've touched my life!!!

    1. Jody thank you so much! That means alot to me coming from you. I love your writings and book and you have touched my life in may ways as well!

  2. Very well said Melinda!! You are an amazing writer, but most of all you are my amazing friend! Thank you for all of your help, support, guidance and most of all your friendship! You have helped me in ways you will never know, and I am truly blessed to have you in my life!!
    Love you dear friend!!!