Monday, October 22, 2012

All that matters

There are about a million other things I could be or should be doing right now while Noah is sleeping but here I sit.  I have been thinking about this post for a few days now and just haven't had time to sit and write it.

We have been trying very hard to have families that have adopted, are in the process of adopting or will be adopting in our lives.  Not to down play the other relationships or people in our lives but we do want to have those relationships in our lives too.  No matter how hard someone tries they don't know what the shoes we have walked in are like unless they have walked too.  Not only do we want it for us we want Noah to have other children to relate to in this area of his life down the road too.  Like I said before, we have amazing people in our life who have shown such support and love to Joe and I, but the love they have for Noah is beyond words.

A few months ago we were connected with a family from our area that was in the process of adopting.  She and I have been in touch for a few months via email and facebook.  It had been a busy summer for both of our families.  Us with finalizing Noah's adoption and them planning for a placement!  Finally after weeks of communication, earlier this week our families finally got to meet.  I have to say leading up to the meeting I spent sometime thinking about how in some ways our journey was the same and is so many ways it was different.  I was worried that our feelings, experience and views would be so different on things, more so the agency that we would not hit it off. They would not want to talk to us again or see us again.  We had used the same agency and had very different experiences and I was really worried about that.  Just a short time into the meeting I realized my worried were going to be unfounded, and quiet honestly able to finish each others thoughts and feelings on some things.  This got me to thinking, we have several couples we are friends with, well more the wifes are friends, that have adopted.  We each started our path at the same place, maybe all for different reasons, or not so different reasons, and ended in the same place.  We have had twists and turns along the way, some of us more than others, some of us took longer than others.  Heck one of the couples wasn't even really looking to adopt when they got matched with their second child but God had other plans.  Some of us started with the same agency and that is how we meet, some walked away with a great experience and other not so happy.  But we all still have a common bond the same feelings, the same start and finish and that is what really matters isn't it?  We are here to support each other and be there for each other as we navigate the world of adoption.  Sometimes we can relate directly with each other and other times we can't but what matters is we are all there for each other.  To listen to the other cry when need be, to celebrate for each other and to lend an ear and really that is what friendship is about right.  Just think if we were all the same had the same experiences and live the same life.   

The great thing is all of the families have adopted boys all with in a few months of each other so I am looking forward to them growing and hopefully becoming friends, and having each other's backs too. 

Anyway, we had a great visit and she and I are even looking into trying to start an adoption support group in our area since there are none here.  I am looking forward to moving through these relationships.



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