The Choice

For most people, not all but most, coming to the decision to adopt is not always an easy one.  The path to choosing adoption is usually a path filled with tears, heartache and hurt.  Years of infertility, treatments and failed pregnancies.  By the time this option comes up a lot of times people feel so defeated they don't ever take the steps to move forward or are financially drained from the other treatments and medicines. 
For myself, I never went though the treatments and medicines, we went to 1 appointment to see what our options were, and that was it.  We knew we had a very small chance of me being able to carry a baby and we also had to do egg donation so we had the added expense there.  So we knew that we needed to find another path to parenthood.  We briefly spoke about adoption and then decided we were going to try the foster to adopt route.  We took all of the classes, spent weekend sitting inside during the summer, evenings given up and at the very last class the social worker in charge said something that totally turned us off.  We walked out and looked at each other and was like this was a total waste of a few months.  We took a step back and just thought about our options and did research, ok well I did research.  I looked at agency after agency after agency.  Made call after call after call.  We spoke with so many agencies and heard good things and bad things from each of them.  I won't go into all the details of every reason we didn't choose an agency, it could have varied from the time they said an average match took, it could have been the fees, or the fact they charged different fees based upon race, which I have a major personal issue with.  Finding and choosing an agency is part research and part gut and mostly luck if you ask me.  I can't sit here and say I would do this different or that different because then things would have ended different for us and I can't imagine my life any different than it is today.  I can say if we were ever to try to adopt again I would do things different. 
Once you make a decision on an agency there are a million choices that follow.  I will tell you that you will second guess each and every single one of them.  When you go right you will always think you should have gone left.  It won't be until you are sitting with your baby in your arms that you feel you have made the right decisions the right choices.  It will be then that all the pieces have fallen together. 
Adoption is not a journey for the faint of heart for use.  But the reward in the end is so amazing!

Back to Basics

I have missed blogging so much over the past few months.   During that time the passion I have for adoption has just grown like a fire inside of me.  So I am going to start blogging again. 
I have been thinking about it and I thought well where do I start.  It has been so long where do I pick back up at or do I start all over gain? I think the best thing to do is a small back story and then to move forward.  That way any new followers don't have to read everything if they don't want to.
In June of 2010 my husband and I started the process of adoption.  We went into the process pretty blind to say the least.  I can't say if adoption groups were a popular and as easy to find then as now or now, because I never thought to look for them at the time.  The support groups now are a truly amazing thing, if you can find honest people in them, and most groups with adoptive families in them are.  The process of adoption is hard and cruel.  It's over whelming, lonely and hard to navigate at times.  But it can also be beautiful and amazing as well, most of the time that isn't until the end and well after placement honestly.
In January of 2012 we were blessed with the birth and placement of our amazing son.  We have been equally blessed with a good relationship with our son's birth mother.  
Ever since we finalized our son's adoption I have had a passion to want to help support other waiting families.  I felt so alone and lost during our wait.  We felt like we didn't get as much support as we thought we would get from agency we used at the time.  Even now post placement it is so nice to have people to share with who understand like on one else can.
I want this to be a place of sharing and support for others.  I am not saying everything I feel is right and perfect.  That the advise I have is always correct.  I can only talk from our experience and from my heart!
I hope that you find some help and support and understand in the things I have to say and experiences I share.

Under construction

Please bear with me as I work on some changes and updates to the blog!  I promise I will be back to blogging soon as I miss it so much!

See you soon

Melinda

Mother's Day 4

Mother's Day 3

Moether's Day 2

 

 

 

 

 

I did not know how true this was how lost I was until I was blessed to become a Mother!

Mother's Day 1

In honor of Mother's Day I am going to make a post about Mother's everyday this week!