Small reminders

It seems like the weekends are nothing but a marathon of running!  Joe is working every Saturday so my day starts with a quick shower before he leaves so I have 10 minutes of quiet time before my day starts.  Getting Noah dressed and diaper changed is enough of a workout for an Olympic athlete.  Then picking up his dump trucks, train, tether and anything else that he thinks is funny to throw off the high chair like 700 times a day, you would think my waist would be as big around as a pencil.  All this before our 9:30 nap.  While he is napping, which if we are lucky is about a hour and half, I get my self dressed and ready to go grocery shopping, picking up the house and trying to do a load of laundry.  Then on to the afternoon!  We, Noah and I, go grocery shopping, come home and put it away, had his afternoon feeding and start our high chair ritual all over again!  Most weekends and weeknights Joe works I feel like I need a nap with him at 5:30.  Most days I feel like I don't have enough time in the day.  I have stacks of photos that need organized and put in albums, I swear Noah will be 30 before his baby book is even started let alone complete for him.  There is always laundry that needs done, and the house is always in need of cleaning. 

Today was an unusual day for me because my parents kept Noah for me to run my errands because it was so cold and rainy out.  I was able to go and do my shopping and even have lunch by myself which was something I never thought I would like to do.  I got to put my food away without picked up the toys while doing it.  I ran the vacuum without Noah freaking out from the noise of it. 

After I got home and fed Noah and was putting him down for his evening nap and it hit me.  Noah was asleep on my shoulder and I could see his face, his angel like face, and was sitting and rocking in his room.  There was just enough light coming in the windows that I could see around the room, and that is when it hit me!  Just a year ago this room that used to bring me such peace and does now, didn't at that time.  I had hit rock bottom this time last year, I just couldn't do it anymore, I wanted Joe to pack the stuff up in the room and get rid of it, I couldn't look at it anymore.  My emotions and heart had been pulled through the ringer.  I was an emotional mess and didn't know which end was up.  I cried each day, sometimes all day, just praying for an answer, some sort of sign as to what was right to do.  It hurts my heart now to think I wanted to walk away!  Especially as I looked at the miracle sleeping in my arms.  Not a day goes by that he doesn't do something that melts my heart, no matter how hard of a day it is,he either smiles at me just when I need it or he will rub his hand on your cheeks after you give him a kiss. 

It is hard to believe that he is 8 months old already!  He has 2 teeth and is giving his all to crawl!  He is vocal, very vocal when he wants to be, and God does he have a temper!  But I wouldn't trade it for a second.  God continues to send me small reminders and not so small reminders each and everyday! 

Love

Melinda

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